Episode 10 - What Holds You in a Storm

Toye Oyelese

Part One — Why Your Routines Break on Bad Days Hey, welcome back to Navvy Tales! It's Dr. Toye. Lately we've been talking about moving forward — finding your Direction, and naming what's true so you've got a map. But today, let's talk about something different. What happens when everything falls apart? You know the days I mean. You get sick. Or something sad happens. Or your Battery — remember, that's your energy — just drops all the way to zero, and you can barely get out of bed. On days like that, guess what's the first thing to go? Your good routines. The soccer practice every morning. The reading every night. You miss one day, then two, and suddenly you feel like a total failure. But here's the truth: that's not your fault. Those routines — we call them habits — are built for normal days. They're great when things are calm. But when a storm hits your life, habits are the first thing to fall over. So on the really hard days, you need something tougher. Something built for the storm. I call these Anchors. Part Two — A Habit vs. an Anchor Let me show you the difference, because it's a big one. Think of a boat. A habit is like the boat's engine — it's there to make you go faster and get better. Practice piano an hour a day, run a lap every morning — that's an engine. Awesome... on a calm, sunny day. But an anchor is totally different. An anchor is the heavy weight a boat drops down to the bottom of the sea, so a storm can't push it away. It's not there to make you go fast. It's there to make sure you don't drift. So a habit is about going faster. An anchor is about not getting lost. Here's what that looks like for you. Say you're having the worst week ever — your Battery's at zero, your Get-It-Done part has gone totally quiet, and you can barely move. You are not going to practice piano for an hour. And that's okay. But you can still do one tiny thing. Like sitting in your favorite chair for two quiet minutes. Or drinking one glass of water. Or stepping outside for a sec. That tiny thing? That's an anchor. It's small on purpose. And a good anchor always has three things: It's non-negotiable — you do it even when you don't feel like it, because skipping it costs too much. It's super easy — so easy you can still do it on your worst, lowest-battery day. And it points your way — it connects to your Direction. If your Direction is about being close to people, then your anchor might be sending one quick "hi" every day to someone you trust — that's your Open-Up part, staying connected even in the storm. Part Three — Drop Your Anchors So here's why anchors matter so much. When a really hard time hits and you have NO anchors, the whole house loses its shape. Your characters panic. Even your Who-Am-I part — the one that knows who you are — gets shaky and unsure. And you just... drift. You can't even tell which way is up. But when you have anchors — a ten-minute walk, one good meal a day, a little bedtime routine — it's like holding onto a rope in a storm. Picture it: the wind is howling, and you might have to let go of all sorts of things — your big plans, your busy schedule, all your goals. That's okay. You let those go. But you keep both hands on the rope. And that rope — that little anchor — is proof that a part of you is still holding on to your way, even in the middle of the mess. So here's the big idea today: don't just build stuff that helps you on your best days. Build a few tiny things that hold you steady on your worst days. Those anchors are what really keep you strong. That's all for this episode. Thanks for sitting with me — and hey, there's still so much more to explore in this house of ours. Until next time, take gentle care. See you on Navvy Tales!