Episode 3 - You're a Whole Team Inside

Toye Oyelese

Hey, welcome back to Navvy Tales! It's Dr. Toye. This one's for anyone who's ever felt like there might be more than one of you inside. Here's an idea a lot of us believe: you're supposed to be ONE person. One steady you. You should always know what you want. You should never change your mind or argue with yourself. Let's call this the "One Single You." But wait. Have you ever done stuff like this? You planned ALL week to wake up early Saturday and practice. Then Saturday morning, a totally different you wakes up and decides staying in bed is the only option. Or you're loud and funny and totally yourself with your best friends. But put you in a room of new kids, and suddenly you go quiet and shy. Or you promised yourself you'd save your allowance. Then somehow you watched yourself spend the whole thing on something you didn't even really want. Here's the thing: that doesn't mean you're broken or weak. It means the "One Single You" was never real. The truth is way more fun. You're not one person inside. You're a whole team. It's like a bus full of different characters in there, and they don't all want the same thing. Part Two — The Storyteller Okay, but here's a good question. If you're a whole team inside... then who's the "you" listening right now? Who's the "I" that says "I did this" or "I want that"? That part has a job. I call it the Storyteller. The Storyteller is like the narrator of your life. Its job isn't to be the boss. Its job is to explain what happened after the rest of your team already did something. Watch how it works. Say the grabby part of you takes the last cookie without even thinking. A second later, the Storyteller jumps in and says, "Well, I deserved it — I had a hard day." See what it did? It made up a nice reason, so it looks like one calm you planned the whole thing. The Storyteller is helpful. It's how you can tell people about yourself, like "I'm the kind of kid who loves soccer." But here's the secret: that's just the story. It's not the whole truth of the busy team inside you. Part Three — Different Characters Take Charge Once you know you're a team, you stop being surprised when you act different in different places. Think of it like a bunch of characters inside you, and each one grabs the mic when it's their moment. When you've got a big project due, your Get-It-Done character steps up and takes charge. When someone's trying to make you do something you don't want to, your Stand-Up-For-Myself character speaks up, loud and clear. When you're with someone you really trust, your Open-Up character comes out, and you can share the real stuff. So who are you? You're not one fixed thing in the middle. You're whichever character fits the moment. And when you "contradict yourself" — like planning to get up early, then staying in bed — it's just that the leader changed. Your Let's-Go character made the morning plan. But your Cozy-and-Safe character woke up, felt the warm blankets, and grabbed the mic instead. Most of our stress comes from these arguments inside. We treat them like noise we need to shut off. But here's the truth: arguing inside isn't a problem — it means you're interesting and smart. You've got lots of characters who care. The real magic trick is this. You stop trying to force yourself to be just one person. Instead, you learn to pick which character should lead right now — the one that's best for the job — instead of just letting the loudest or the most scared one grab the wheel. That's a big-kid skill, and it takes practice. But for today, just try one thing: when you feel a big feeling, ask, "Who's talking inside me right now? What are they trying to say?" You don't have to fix it. Sometimes just listening is the biggest step of all. See you next time on Navvy Tales!